Lessons learned from my first 90 days as a diversity and inclusion consultant.

In October 2020, I decided to leave my role as Associate Director of a Diversity and Inclusion company to set up on my own D&I Consultancy.

You can just imagine the conversation I had with my parents.  It went something like this….

‘So you know I’ve got this well paid, reliable, interesting job. And you know we are in the middle of a global pandemic and recession? Well, I’ve decided the moment is right for me to jump ship and set up on my own. Anyone for a cup of tea?’

My parents, who are the archetypal believers in reliability, stability and from the era of ‘a job for life’, took a deep breath, and then another, and then asked some very sensible and helpful questions before climbing on board with me and backing me all the way.

The reasons for my decision were numerous.  But it is no coincidence that the events of last year with the racist murder of George Floyd and many others, and the resulting #BlackLivesMatter movement taking hold around the world, as well as the remaining rhetoric of Brexit, and tone of political leaders all took their toll.  So when I had the chance to take a break and reflect on the impact of these events, along with the pandemic and my hopes for the future, the decision to set up my own consultancy came into focus.

Since I’ve set up, I have learnt so much in just 3 months. I’ve been speaking to several people who are either doing the same thing or thinking about doing the same. So I thought it might be helpful to share the things that I’ve learnt so far, including some issues I’ve been wrestling with.

Lift and be uplifted

I have been blown away at how generous people have been – both those I already knew and those that are new to my network. People have generously given up their time, ideas, made introductions, shared their work and simply provided words of encouragement. 

In the moments of self-doubt, there seems to always be a well-timed ‘you’ll be great at this’ or ‘you should have done this years ago’.

I started off thinking that when I’m more established, I’ll start doing the same for others. But actually, why wait? I can see that there are already opportunities to help, offer suggestions and insights, and provide encouragement to others.  After all, isn’t this what inclusion and belonging are about?

I have found that women seem to be especially generous with the activity of lifting others, but not exclusively. 

One word of caution: A lot of people are enthusiastic to give advice. Just like when you become a new mum for the first time, everyone wants to tell you their story and share what they’ve learnt. But obviously, everyone’s path is unique and there have been times that I’ve needed to let the ‘you should….’, ‘you need to….’ roll over me. As my sister told me when I was expecting my first child ‘people who give advice are well-intentioned and want to help. But you’ll instinctively know what’s right for your baby’.  I think the same can be true for your business.

Find your niché, and then get even more niché

When I set up, it was very clear to me that my niché was inclusion. I wanted to continue to help organisations build inclusive cultures. However, it quickly became clear that this was not niché enough. 

There are a lot of people out there doing that.  

For a few weeks I struggled with narrowing this down until a friend simplified it by saying ‘where are the pain points that you want to help people address’? This made it far clearer to me.  

There are lots of consultants offering diversity and inclusion support, what would make me different? For now, I have defined this as consultancy support for those who are embarking on their inclusion work. I believe that for a lot of organisations, there has either been no action or talk without action. The challenge might seem insurmountable and many just don’t know where to start. I’m positioning myself to help those that need to leave the starting blocks and get their diagnostics and strategy into place. I believe this is where my skills are, where my interests are, and where the greatest need is. This might change over time, but for now, this is my niché within a niché.

Is it right for a white woman to earn a living from this work?

One of the dilemmas I’ve wrestled with is the question about if, as a white/ middle class/ educated – and therefore highly privileged woman, this is something that I can and should be talking about and working on.  There have been questions about if D&I work should be the domain of those from marginalised backgrounds who have the first hand, lived experience of structural and institutional racism, as well as other forms of marginalisation.  

I’ve given this a lot of thought.  I believe that there is enough space, and certainly enough work to do.  Of course, work should go to those that can have the greatest impact, and that will often therefore be to those that have lived and experienced exclusion.  However, I also think that as a white person I have a responsibility to educate myself and others and to challenge from the inside.  

It would be the easiest route for me as a white, professionally experienced person, that looks like those on senior teams (albeit they’re usually more male), to position myself as a palatable, comfortable and nonconfrontational consultant to have in the room.  However, understand the accusations of ‘white saviour’ syndrome and profiteering from this area’s current popularity I want to set up a business that is ethical and responsible.  

I therefore have and continue to build a wide network of those who have first had experience, I credit them (and pay them) when I draw on their expertise.  And in my work, I address the mindsets, attitudes and beliefs that perpetuate the problems.  I see my role as being one that holds up a mirror to see the implications of white privilege, and white fragility, so that there is an understanding of the implications and work towards redressing them.  This work is uncomfortable work and those that continue to marginalise, knowingly or unknowingly, need to feel that.

Take time to think – in whatever way works for you

I’m very aware of the fact that I am an extrovert. 

One of the things I knew about myself, and that I would struggle with working independently, was not being in a team. 

I have always been in a team, and being around others working on the same projects is the way I think; by discussing views, hearing suggestions and ideas, drawing from the collective experiences. So how would I fare being on my own?

Well, thanks to the pandemic, a husband and 2 kids are always in earshot. But that’s not the same as having people who are working in the same area and have an interest in the same thing.

I know myself well enough to know I need to think whilst on the move and out loud. 

Luckily over the years, I’ve developed close friendships with people who work in a similar space to me and who love to get on the move. So I have been able to go on socially distanced or virtual walks with them to help shape my ideas, and help them shape theirs. I cannot understate how important these have been for my mental and physical health, as well developing ideas.  

Stick to your principles

There is a lot to be said about having a clear compass for your direction – and sticking to it. Especially when this comes to what you believe in, and what you set out to do.

Early on, I compromised on this and took the opportunity of getting some work in, rather than saying that I wasn’t convinced what they were asking for would have the impact they expected. I did it anyway, and have not felt good that I did a good service to the company. I appreciate that as a new consultant seeking clients that this might be a red flag, however, believe me when I say I have learnt from this.

As a new consultant, it can be easy to take on work at the expense of what you believe is the best way forward for the company and yourself. Be really clear about your principles and stick to them. Write them down, and have this as a pledge to yourself. It’s so important to believe in and have confidence in what you are offering.

Hold your nerve

It’s still early days for me and I would be lying if I said that I didn’t have moments of thinking ‘oh crikey, is this going to work out?’.  

On one of my walks with a trusted friend, who has many years of experience in this field, she initially discouraged me (which I thankfully ignored!), then warned me that it would be feast and famine, and then explained that as a consultant you need to hold your nerve. You will have that doubtful voice from time to time telling you to go back in-house and get a safe and secure job, and that the clients aren’t going to come, or what you’re offering is not what’s needed.

I never thought I had imposter syndrome, but it turns out it’s in there for my more vulnerable moments. But it seems that every time that voice speaks up, something sends a message to say ‘hold your nerve’. Just before Christmas, I was starting to wonder if it would work, and then by a series of fortunate connections a big contract landed in my lap. 

It took less than 24 hours, didn’t involve me making any pitch or bid, and has turned out to be a fantastic opportunity to learn, connect and earn. I appreciate it won’t always work out like this, but I’m feeling more confident that the voice of doubt needs to be locked out for a while longer yet.

In summary

Deciding to set up on my own was described by some friends as a brave move. I understand that given the wider circumstances currently, that could probably be translated into ‘foolish’. But I do feel brave. And with every challenge (let’s just throw home schooling into the mix) comes a sense of fear, doubt and then a growth in confidence and certainty that for me, for now, for here, this is the best possible situation.